Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Unsuspected Rise of the Fried Egg's Fashion Presence

As told by The Egg.

Thank God 2016 started getting apocalypse-y towards the end because it started off incredibly boring for me. With the human race's rapidly spreading vegan craze, I was stuck on the shelf of Ralph's for WAY longer than usual, meaning my daily entertainment had reached record breaking lows, leaving me with no other choice but to become the creative director of a project in which I pushed other items off the shelf in order to facilitate the rise of a workplace-wide fear of grocery store ghosts.

There's never anything interesting going on in the grocery store. It's when I get to the human's house where the fun really starts. With each transfer from store to living quarters, I go from witnessing people crossing off words on a piece of paper to overhearing heated family arguments or gossip-filled dinner table discussions from the comfort of a fridge.

But due to some epiphanic voice seeping into the minds of these people and suggesting that maybe NOW is the time to stop supporting the killing of animals, I'm sitting on stocking shelves desperately trying to wreak some type of havoc on this store rather than eavesdropping on family matters. I'd much rather hear about how Greg failed his math test AGAIN (seriously Greg?) or silently weigh grandma's chances of getting this year's Christmas card (my verdict, by the way: no shot, especially after Thanksgiving).

So, it was looking like 2016 would shape up to be a boring year for me at the hands of the vegans. However, by some miraculous turn of events, the humans once again found a way to get even stranger and the year started to get weird quite quickly. People in clown costumes started appearing everywhere, and everyone raised hell as they tried to decipher whether the people underneath the horrible primary color combinations were murderers or simply idiots trying to scare people (usually a toss up, to be honest, which kept things interesting). The people also came hilariously close to making a gorilla the new Jesus Christ, an activity that contained just the right amount of good-humored chaos until I heard a rumor that 15,000 of them voted for said gorilla for president. Yep, definetly didn't have that filed under my "What Will Humans Do Next" folder. 

Then, while they showed up in flocks larger than any bird flock I've ever seen in search of animated characters, I hung out in my carton in search of any sort of remaining normality this year could offer to me. However, I will admit that this chaos was the greatest source of entertainment I have ever had--the intensity and hilarity of family drama multiplied ten fold--so, of course, I wasn't upset when I found myself joining the chaos.

Yes, I did play a role in the naming of 2016 as "the craziest year to date" -- clothing manufacturers and consumers alike suddenly saw potential in me to crush it in the fashion world, and before I knew it, the next hilariously confusing fad of 2016 was ME! The fried egg became a quirky yet high-fashion motif in clothing and accessories. What kick-started the rise of my fashion career is beyond me (maybe Kevin Bacon's work wasn't satisfying the modern-day consumer's need for a breakfast presence in the entertainment industry), but I'm just happy that the bizzarity of 2016 worked in my favor. Not only have I become a worldwide celebrity and respected street style star, but my inhabitance in the fashion world has proved the most amusing source of entertainment I've experienced. The conversations I overhear at glitzy Hollywood clubs and posh London flat parties are simply second to none. Also: New York Fashion Week? Not as fun as it sounds. That's an insider secret.

To commemorate my time in the spotlight, here are a couple appearances I've made since I became a leading name in the fashion industry:

First, I'd like to thank Anya Hindmarch for seeing something magical in me and presenting my appeal to a high fashion audience. She featured me in her Fall 2016 RTW collection:

Aaaand in her SS17 collection, where I even took part in the furry slides trend that originally exploded through Rihanna's Fenty x Puma collection. 

Even Danish fashion blogger and mommy-to-be Pernille Teisbaek praised me publicly on Instagram to her 430k followers.

Anya (yes, our muse-designer relationship has placed us upon a first name basis) also made a bag sticker of me, and I adorned the bags of street style stars this year, during which excursions I was happy to take part in painting the gray streets with a pop of color, excitement, and humor.

I also owe much of my success to Japanese kawaii style. Kawaii means "cute" in the context of Japanese culture and frequently influences Japanese fashion, and kawaii versions of me were featured on many t-shirts and accessories in Japan.

I'm also heavily featured on the merchandise of Inu Inu, a shop based in California and China that is mainly known for manufacturing clothing inspired by popular graphic tee trends in China and Japanese kawaii stye.

After hitting Japan, the runways, and the streets, my journey in the stye world was far from over. An icon has to be unstoppable and everywhere, right? My next venture brought me to the Tumblr world, where I spent time both electronically serving kawaii inspiration and hanging out with real life "Tumblr girls" who took that inspiration and translated it into #lewks that were heavily featured on Instagram and "soft grunge" accounts.

My world domination (I mean outreach, sorry) extended even further when mainstream retailers like Urban Outfitters and Zara incorporated me into their stock. When Urban started stocking brands like Skinny Dip, a London-based accessories label, and Zero Gravity, a phone-case brand, I knew I was in! As for Zara, they have about a one month turn around in terms of incorporating the newest trends into their stock (translation: they're incredibly efficient with turning trend forecasts into actual weather), so when I found myself there I relished in the validation that told me I had truly made it as a style influencer.

Trends come and go faster than the college students in the houses I used to inhabit (they show up, get irritated by their parents, and leave as soon as possible). That being said, though, I'm grateful for my time in the spotlight and the experiences it has allowed me to have. As an element of a piece that goes into a look, I've realized that it's never really more of a "look" than it is a feeling. When people arrange different garments into a collage of fabrics and colors, they produce a collage of feeling. Something about a certain piece of clothing strikes a chord in someone, making them feel something that they can't define narrowly or decisively. I got to strike that chord. People chose me because I made them feel like a different version of themselves, no matter how subtly. Others chose me because I could express what they felt was the truest version of themselves, even if only for one day. I was part of someone's experiment, someone's expression, someone's excitement- I made people feel. The ability to elicit emotion in another is a great power, and I'm happy I could do it, even if said people didn't recognize it.

Thank you for reading my story, and please pass it through generations and generations. I would like to be remembered as the most iconic (and humble) food trend to ever impact the fashion world. 

The Egg

Photos via:
Marcus Tondo/
@julie.gesyuk on Instagram
Fashion Kawaii on Store Envy
@eggsville on Tumblr
@karmartistic on Tumblr
Molly Goddard Pinterest tag
Zara website


Anonymous said...

So creative!

Temple Emmet Williams said...

This is a brilliantly hatched story, scrambled in parts, but beautifully fried throughout. Thank you.

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